I remember it was winter in England and I was catching a train back to the city where I lived. It was cold, I looked out, White snow was falling lightly from the gloomy sky. The train was moving fast, and as it moved I could see grounds in white all covered up by snow. ‘Covered up?’ the word rang in my head. Images of hijab and headscarf flashes on my mind.

For the two hours journey, I couldnt sleep even once. There was too much on my mind. I was born as a Muslim. And I didn‘t pray five times a day like everybody else. I hardly could read the Quran. People could say I was illiterate in a way. Because at times, it took me a long while to finish even a short verse from the Quran. It was in Arabic and I was never taught Arabic, that was my excuse of not reading. I thought as long as you have a good heart that‘s good enough. And if you don’t commit huge sins, you’ll be fine. But what she said, made my whole perspective looked, vain.

I was from London and on my way back home to the North West region. My heart wasn’t at ease. What she said had made me thinking, and I was thinking real hard. She was a nice girl. ‘Be a true Muslim, and not just a Muslim by name,’ she said politely with a smile, but the meaning was intense. She was merely quoting and was not saying it to me but my heart was touched. What kind of Muslim, had I been all these while? I don’t want to be a Muslim and only by name. It doesn’t sound good either. As the train moved, heading to North West where I lived, I let out few sighs.

Few months after later.. ‘Bismillahi Rahmani Rahim..,’ I read out loud before starting to read the Quran. My web-cam was on. That night We were in the middle of Quranic circle. It’s an activity that we do once a week. Through this circle, we read the Quran in turns. All were ladies. Sometimes we get to discussed about the meaning behind the Quran verses and some Hadith from Rasulullah. It was amazingly fun and I never thought I would actually had fun doing religious activity. I was very thankful to Siti and her older sister because now I can read the Quran much better. And since then, I keep on gradually changing, I realised. How I view life has changed too, a bit if not much.

At nights before I slept, I thought of going to a place. Somewhere faraway and seemed hard to reach but I knew its reachable. And if possible, I wanted to go there with someone that I loved. Of course that’s still remain as a wish and I hope it’ll come true one day. My life is never this calm! I now wear headscarf everywhere I go. It doesn’t feel right without it. Sometimes that leads to guilt, when people sees my hair. So I wear headscarf whenever I go out. My social activity especially when interacting with men has also changed. I used to be friendly and outgoing, even with the opposite gender. Now I feel sort of afraid. Sometimes I limit myself from being too ‘friendly’ with men. Sometimes, I think twice before I talked to them. Is it necessary or not to talk now? Because Women can be a fitnah to men, I don’t want to build up sins.

I used to look for a romantic boyfriend before. I searched high and low but funny that I never really had a boyfriend until now. I used to ask why? The question is why. Because I’m not unpretty. But now I understand the reason behind. Having a romantic relationship outside marriage can lead to something that breaks the law of Syariah. All praise to Allah, I’m glad I never had boyfriends before. I’m not worried if I don’t find a guy any sooner. I’m not looking for a relationship anymore. And definitely not looking for someone based on how romantic he is. I’m going with the flow, after all everything about humans has been written. I want to fix myself first.

I read somewhere about ‘Mencintai kerana Allah’ or ’Loving you because of God’. It was a nice Malay blog entry. I am aiming for that kind of love now. It sounds more pure than romantic love, to me.

‘What’s your dream guy like?’ a friend asked me one day while we ride on a taxi.

I didn’t replied him immediately though, ‘and have you found him?’ he added quickly.

‘Why do you want to know’ I politely asked with a smile.

‘Well, only asking,’ he replied calmly. Then there were silent. The road was wet due to the rain. It was soon before the taxi reached my home.

‘Was he like me?’ he then added. He was hinting something, I knew. I’ve been waiting for this moment all this year. And this could be a dream come true, but..

‘My dream guy is,’ I began ‘Someone who can guide me, you know, he leads and I follow,’ Then I paused.

‘I can be the guy,’ He said confidently.

There was silence again, a long one. The taxi finally reached my home. I said goodbyes to him and walked to my front door. I wave before the taxi accelerated again. He smiled to me even though I didn’t gave him the answer. He was a nice guy but he couldn‘t be the guy. Because…

I want to live with a guy who could guide me, so that I can get closer to My Creator. I want a man who can lead as an Imam, in every prayers that we’re gonna do together as married couple. A man who would tell Islamic history as a bed-time-stories to our children in the future. I want a man who’ll read the holly Quran to me, to cheer me every time I’m down. That is my dream guy and before I can meet him, I knew I need to fix myself first.

One beautiful spring afternoon, I was at a function. There were many Malays all gathered. That’s when I met him. He’s not just decent but he has the characteristic of my dream guy. Every time our eyes met accidentally during the event, he quickly moved away his stare. That convinced me, even more. I knew he’ll be a good amir, a leader of a family. Secretly I prayed: O‘ Allah, I want that kind of guy as a partner in life. At nights before I slept, I thought of going to a place. Somewhere faraway and seemed hard to reach but I knew its reachable. And if possible, I wanted to go there with someone that I loved. I want to go to Jannah (the heaven) with him! I’ll wait here and I know the wait is worthy.

Bencana alam, peringatan kepada manusia

PADA minggu lepas, dunia dikejutkan dengan beberapa peristiwa gempa bumi, tsunami dan taufan kencang di beberapa tempat berlainan di seluruh pelosok dunia yang berlaku hampir-hampir serentak.

Antaranya termasuklah gempa bumi di Padang, Indonesia dan beberapa kawasan di Pasifik Selatan (seperti Kepulauan Vanuatu dan Kepulauan Soloman), taufan kencang Ketsana dan Parma melanggar Filipina serta tsunami yang melanda Kepulauan Samoa.

Bagi negara jiran Indonesia, episod gempa di Padang hanyalah sebahagian daripada cerita-cerita musibah alam yang tidak pernah sunyi melanda negara paling banyak gunung berapi itu.

Dari peristiwa letupan Krakatau yang menggegar bumi Sumatera (bunyi letupan direkodkan hingga ke Timur Tengah) lebih satu abad lalu hinggalah selang beberapa tahun terkini yakni tsunami yang melanda Kepulauan Aceh.

Menariknya, ketika berlaku gempa bumi di Padang tempoh hari, negara kita yang sepatutnya terkeluar dari “kawasan merah” Lingkaran Api Pasifik ini turut merasai impaknya dengan beberapa tempat di Kuala Lumpur, Petaling Jaya dan Putrajaya dilaporkan dapat merasakan gegaran kecil.

Lingkaran Api Pasifik atau “plat gempa Pasifik” adalah kawasan yang kaya dengan gunung berapi dan terkait dengan pelbagai kejadian gempa di mana sebenarnya Malaysia bukanlah sebahagian dari kawasan tersebut.

Ilmu manusia terlalu tipis

Dari kejadian-kejadian bencana luar biasa yang berturutan ini, saintis-saintis terkemuka serta-merta dituntut untuk melampirkan kefahaman ke seluruh jagat penduduk dunia. Malangnya, tidak ada yang mampu atau dapat memberikan sebarang kefahaman mutlak.

Seorang pakar geologi dunia memberi komentar bahawa adalah mustahil untuk mereka membuat kajian dan kesimpulan yang hampir tepat. Ini kerana, ia memerlukan rekod pola gempa bumi yang beratus tahun dan lengkap – tentunya tidak dipunyai oleh mana-mana manusia sekalipun.

Buat seketika jika kita merenung dan bermuhasabah diri, alangkah ceteknya ilmu kita berbanding Allah SWT! Benar sekali firman Allah di dalam al-Quran Karim yang antara lain bermaksud seandainya manusia dan jin bergabung dan cuba menembusi tujuh petala langit, tidak akan dapat menembusi walau satu lapis pun!

Ternyatalah keagungan Ilahi itu tiada taranya berbanding dengan ilmu manusia yang terbatas. Pengetahuan kita sendiri selama ini yang mana Malaysia sepatutnya selamat dari kesan gegaran gempa bumi, malahan kelihatan tidak boleh terpakai lagi.

Peringatan buat manusia

Sebagai orang Melayu yang dipasak oleh agama Allah, hendaknya kita jangan leka dan selalu-selalu berfikir dan mengambil peringatan daripada kejadian-kejadian alam ini.

Daripada segi saintifik, tentulah kita cuba mencari aspek rasional dan pemahamannya tentang apa yang menyebabkan peristiwa-peristiwa sebegini berlaku. Misalannya seperti penjelasan pergerakan plat tektonik dan lain-lain keterangan.

Namun dari aspek rohaniah, mungkinkah kita harus terfikir yang ia sebahagian daripada peringatan Allah juga buat kita yang kemungkinan terlalu leka dengan nikmat duniawi? Sesungguhnya terdapat 1,001 hikmah di sebalik kejadian dan takdir-Nya jika kita benar-benar mahu berfikir.

Peringatan Allah itu boleh juga berlaku jika kita sendiri melakukan kerosakan pada alam. Tentu ada yang masih ingat beberapa kejadian tanah runtuh di ibu negara seperti Bukit Antarabangsa tidak lama dahulu? Dan ia berlaku gara-gara ketamakan, kerakusan dan sikap ambil mudah manusia terhadap alam.

Demikian pula apabila kita leka tanpa “berjiwa Islam” dan mendambakan sifat-sifat mazmumah seperti rasuah, tidak mengamalkan ibadah dan mentauhidkan-Nya serta pengamalan zina dalam masyarakat. Tanpa perlu ada undangan, akan sampailah “pengajaran halus” dari Yang Maha Esa!

Justeru, ambillah peluang ini untuk memperbaiki diri dan menjadi hambanya yang lebih baik dan bertakwa.

Dalam masa sama, kita jangan lupa tanggungjawab membantu sesama saudara seagama dan sebangsa kita di Padang. Di sebalik segelintir orang kita yang sedikit ‘terluka’ dengan isu tarian Pendet yang dimainkan oleh media Indonesia, jangan kita abaikan nasib sebahagian saudara di Indonesia yang tidak bersetuju dengan tindakan kurang ajar sejumlah kecil rakan-rakan mereka yang mudah dipermainkan sentimen akhbar yang mungkin ada kepentingan dan muslihat tertentu.

Janganlah hendaknya kita dipermainkan rentak “musuh dalam selimut” yang tidak pernah mahu melihat umat Islam bersatu padu dan kembali kepada ajaran-Nya yang mutlak dan hakiki.

FERIZ OMAR ialah Presiden Pertubuhan

Profesional Melayu & Pewaris Bangsa (ProWaris)

syukran jazilan daripada kami - Suhail & Hasyim

gigih meniup belon :)

cak !!!

kuntuman ukhwah mekar selamanya...

ehm... so delicious

jemput makan.. sila2, tambah apa yg patut...

tazkirah drpd Ustaz Zul

smile...

no komen

Syahir kene buli... hahah..

merah menyala si bunga raya...sebagaimana semaraknya ukhwah antara kita

yeah... dpt hamper... nak jugak....

pilih la yg mana2 :)

one more... smile... ok dah...

terima kasih semua...